Functional Alcoholics and Codependent Wives

During this stage, individuals are drinking every day, usually to avoid uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms. However, many people still believe they are “functioning” because they are able to get up and go to work. Although they still have a job, their performance is probably not what it used to be. They may also feel like it takes everything they’ve got to feel and act normal.

  • This is why focusing on behaviors provides much better insight than trying to watch for excessive consumption.
  • A professional addiction intervention can help the alcohol user take ownership of some of the problems they have been blaming others for.
  • If he is open to treatment, the two of you can discuss different addiction treatment types and their benefits.
  • Functioning alcoholism is manageable but can become potentially harmful and lead to ongoing health issues with irreversible consequences.

Seeking the advice of addiction treatment professionals will be helpful when finding help for an alcoholic spouse. They can discuss different treatment options, including detox, inpatient treatment facilities, and family therapy options, as well as help for you as the spouse. Cohabiting with a functionally intoxicated partner can be mentally taxing and difficult. A spouse may feel a variety of sentiments, such as anxiety, rage, and remorse, in addition to rejection and guilt. Everyone in the family may experience mental suffering, financial difficulties, and strained relationships as a result of the functional alcoholic’s actions.

functional alcoholic husband

Relationship

Department of Health and Human Services calculated that functioning alcoholics make up almost 20% of the alcoholic population. Living with a high-functioning alcoholic can be quite unpredictable and emotionally taxing. In taking care of an alcoholic spouse, do not disregard your and your children’s well-being. At the last stage of high-functioning alcoholism, patients start to display physical signs of their addiction.

If someone feels they need to hide the fact that they are drinking or the extent of their consumption, especially from their loved ones, it’s an issue — even if they seem to be functioning in life. If you find yourself a functional alcoholic with a codependent wife, there are rehab programs that include couples counseling. Learn ways to heal all aspects of the alcohol use disorder, including marriage. If not done carefully, confrontation can end badly, especially if the person is afunctioning alcoholicin denial or someone who has a history of verbal or physical abuse.

Stage #4: Noticeable Physical And Psychological Changes

While the term « alcoholic » was used in the past but is now viewed as outdated and stigmatizing. Today, healthcare professionals would say that a person has an alcohol use disorder (AUD). These groups give people affected by someone else’s alcoholism a safe environment to talk about the impact that the person has on their life. Group members include peers who provide comfort and advice to one another. Many people who attend support group meetings experience therapeutic benefits.

Families can get stuck in a holding pattern or waiting game while waiting for the day they address the admitted problem. Relationships are complex and layered, and it takes a lot for a husband or a wife to make it work and keep the family structure healthy and whole. It is also a good idea to spend more time with your loved ones as this will reduce your stress levels and improve your mood. By talking to him about your problems, you will be able to get the support you need to overcome these challenges and move on with your life. You should also make sure to spend quality time with each other and remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place.

The following are options to consider when dealing with an alcoholic spouse:

High-functioning alcoholics will rarely admit that they have a problem. But if someone in your life has three or more alcoholic beverages per day (two or more for women), they are consuming more than https://northiowatoday.com/2025/01/27/sober-house-rules-what-you-should-know-before-moving-in/ the recommended amount.U.S. Dietary Guidelines define moderate drinkingas one drink per day for women and up to two drinks per day for men. Binge drinking is defined as having four or more beverages in one drinking episode for women and five or more beverages for men (a typical drinking episode is around two hours). Family First Intervention recognizes how powerful the dynamic of a family system is and how important the role family members play in a substance user’s decision to accept treatment for addiction. We hope a family sees the need to seek professional guidance as much as the substance user requires professional guidance.

  • They still want to feel the buzz or numb out from their problems for a while, so they will begin drinking more as their tolerance to alcohol increases.
  • They may put themselves and others at risk by secretly driving under the influence with children in the car.
  • The following resources may be helpful for yourself, your family members, and/or the individual struggling with alcohol misuse.
  • Dealing with an alcoholic partner and coping with their alcoholic behaviours and tendencies can have a massive impact on a person’s life.
  • Consuming enough alcohol to bring their blood alcohol concentration (BAC) above 0.08 is considered binge drinking, which is typically five drinks within a two-hour period.

Prevent Enabling Behaviors

  • As time goes on and tolerance increases, they may attempt to hide the growing problem, and a growing number of empty bottles or cans, from friends and family.
  • Functional or high-functioning alcoholics do not fit this stereotype but often seem to have everything going for them.
  • And when they do, take them to the professional instead of trying to make things right on your own.
  • The deceptive nature of high-functioning alcoholism lies in the individual’s ability to deny the existence of a problem.
  • All you want are evenings at home, as a family, where you don’t feel like you have to bribe him with something enticing enough to keep him there.

If someone feels they need to hide the fact that they are drinking or the extent of their consumption, especially from their loved ones, it’s an issue — even if they seem to be functioning in life. “I’m stressed, so I need a drink,” or, “I’ve had such a hard day I need a drink,” are phrases you may hear often from a partner struggling with alcoholism. Saying these excuses to preface their drinking as if to receive validation in their excuse, means that on some level, subconsciously or not, they know they have a problem.

effects of living with an alcoholic husband

However, they may not be ready or willing to get addiction treatment. You can also plan an intervention to let them know the consequences if they continue to drink and do not seek treatment. Having a partner struggle with substance abuse doesn’t just impact their life, but yours as well. Maybe your husband’s managing to hold down a job, but seems to be constantly drinking or always smells of alcohol.

Maintaining a positive mindset and a hopeful attitude can be difficult at times when you are dealing with an addiction problem. However, if you are determined to recover from it and stay sober, you can do it as long as you stay strong and focused. Well, they’re in denial because they believe they’re not creating any problems due to overdrinking.

Is My Husband a Functioning Alcoholic?

Couples must seek help, whether from peer groups, counseling, sober house or trusting in dependable family or close friends. The deceptive nature of high-functioning alcoholism lies in the individual’s ability to deny the existence of a problem. The gradual increase in tolerance and dependence makes it challenging to recognize the need for help, as the individual often remains in denial about the severity of their situation. Regardless of whether the person can function in some aspects of life, alcoholism is a serious disease. High-functioning alcoholics need treatment just like other alcoholics do. Alcoholism affects everyone in a household— not just the individual who drinks.

A family member is more likely to be emotionally attached and affected therefore turning the conversation down the wrong path without a professional present. Although it is difficult to separate intellect from emotion when doing this, the alternative is allowing the alcoholic to take you down with them. This approach can help the alcoholic take ownership of their behaviors and can increase their ability to see the need for change. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM V) has 11 questions to help determine the severity of an alcohol use disorder. Having a beer with lunch or celebrating a holiday during the daytime is far different than routinely having drinks during the day.

Married to a High-Functioning Alcoholic

The criteria for alcohol use disorder, according to DSM-5, consists of the following 11 questions. The presence of at least 2 of these symptoms indicates Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD). The responses from the alcoholic towards a nonfamily member can be less reactive as well. This can be the result of lesser resentment towards family members who alcohol users often blame for their troubles.

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